Funnel Web Spider Syndrome

Due to my affinity with spiders, people often tell me spider related stories, or ask spiderly advice.

“Hey, there was a spider in my kitchen last night.  I think it was a Funnel Web.”

My response to that is this:  If you “think” it may have been a Funnel Web, then it wasn’t a Funnel Web.  When you see a Funnel Web Spider, you know about it.

Normal spiders don’t look like Funnel Web Spiders.  Normal spiders don’t have muscles like Funnel Web Spiders.  Normal spiders don’t walk with the same cowboy swagger as Funnel Web Spiders.  Most spiders don’t strike fear into the hearts of mortals like Funnel Web Spiders do (unless you suffer from Arachnophobia).

Having said that, I wouldn’t recommend picking it up in your hand for closer inspection.  And never pick up a “dead” one in your pool, as it may not be.  But I also don’t condone the senseless killing of spiders.

So I call this Funnel Web Spider Syndrome:  If there’s doubt, it ain’t one.

A similar thing occurs with me when I say something like “All coffees taste the same to me,” until I have a bad one, then I realise I do have taste buds.

Another similar example is when someone claims they can play Fur Elise on the piano, because it’s easy… until they actually hear a pianist play it.

Funnel Web Spider Syndrome can equally apply to Lamborghini’s, A380 Airbuses and pregnancy contractions.