Living near the CBD means you get to sample human personalities from a wide range of demographic possibilities. And much of this can be viewed from the comfort of one’s balcony.
Take “Ant Man” for instance.
Across the road in Haig Park is one of those large ant nests where the ants go crazy if you step within their strict ant boundaries. Most people show mutual respect and leave the ants alone.
We used to watch Ant Man walk calmly over to the ants nest – in his best thongs – and step on as many of the ants as he could in one session. He even used to jump around as they would get the better of his bare feet.
Then the arms race began.
Ant Man, not satisfied with the damage he could do with his humble thongs, decided to up the ante (pun intended for enjoyment). Ant Man got himself a small stick. He poked and prodded that nest and stabbed away with extreme prejudice.
A few days later, he returned with a bigger stick – one which he could use to strike down upon the ants with great vengeance and furious anger.
Much to our surprise, his next weapon of choice was a hammer. Obviously he had given this a lot of thought. However, the hammer only showed up once – so it was either deemed ineffectual, or he simply misplaced it.
In his most recent attack, Ant Man moved into tyrannical dictator territory – he decided that chemical warfare would be the final solution. He had purchased himself some kind of bug killer and unleashed death from above with a calm and consistent spray, emptying out the entire contents of the can.
We haven’t seen Ant Man for almost a week. I can’t be sure why this is, but I know the ants have survived the brutal wave after wave of attacks. They are ants.
I have often considered calling the RSPCA, or putting a sign on the ants nest saying “Stop killing the ants!”, or even some kind of booby trap (but there are probably legal ramifications with that one).
Here’s hoping Ant Man has given up on his ant genocide crusade and is not building a weapon of mass destruction. Even a contained nuclear detonation would not be good for Haig Park’s already slightly tarnished reputation.