With friends like these...

David PongchongRecent­ly it became an intox­i­cat­ed require­ment to look some­one up on Face­book. Before I talk about that, I should point out that I had a very short dal­liance with the social net­work­ing site. I did the typ­i­cal thing of sign­ing up, find­ing every friend I’ve ever known, looked up the exes, thought this is great, then final­ly ran out of steam. Since then, most­ly due to pri­va­cy con­cerns, lazi­ness and enjoy­ing an “off the radar” lifestyle, I have opt­ed out of Face­book entire­ly.

So not able to look some­one up with­out reg­is­tra­tion, a fake user was cre­at­ed – let us call him Dave. A seem­ing­ly new fea­ture of Face­book is that once you’ve picked a cou­ple of friends, the site sug­gests wave after wave of poten­tial friends, to which I kept click­ing “Add as Friend” at a furi­ous pace. With­in 24 hours Dave had over 200 friends (and amaz­ing­ly appeared in many of their pho­tos). Dave’s Inbox also broke out in “Do I know you?” mes­sages, many of which had already added Dave as a friend pri­or to ask­ing.

The most sat­is­fy­ing was an argu­ment which broke out between Dave and anoth­er guy who refused to add Dave because in the end “I ONLY ADD TRUE FRIENDS TO FACEBOOK!!!”

Of course, Dave only pushed the point because the guy was tru­ly obnox­ious (one should not judge a per­son by their pro­file pho­to, but please keep your shirt on for the good of all). Upon inves­ti­ga­tion, it appears that this guy has over 500 “true friends”, mak­ing him poten­tial­ly the most pop­u­lar per­son since Bruce Samazan. Be care­ful what you wish for my friend.