Work Xmas Parties

For those of you unfa­mil­iar with how xmas par­ties in the gov­ern­ment sec­tor, let me explain how it works. The aver­age young gov­ern­ment work­er will attend 3 xmas par­ties:

The depart­men­tal xmas par­ty (where you get to watch co-work­ers sniff around min­is­ters and senior man­age­ment, but also see their per­son­al assis­tants break loose and per­form drunk­en cart­wheels);

The sec­tion xmas par­ty (of which the high­light is usu­al­ly the ‘secret san­ta’ rit­u­al where the meek end up unwrap­ping some­thing large, pur­ple and vibrat­ing in front of their col­leagues);

And final­ly, the ‘cool group’ par­ty (where you and your ‘cool’ col­leagues sneak off for a par­ty and end up down­ing more schooners, shoot­ers and bour­bon chasers than you thought was human­ly pos­si­ble – then you go home, lie down and the room spins for the next hour).