Doggie Speak

I read with con­sid­er­able inter­est the oth­er day that the Japan­ese have released a Dog Trans­la­tor, which allows you to find out what your dog is telling you when they do all that bark­ing.

At first it remind­ed me of that Simpson’s episode where Homer’s broth­er devel­ops the Baby Trans­la­tor and climbs his way back to rich­ness again. Then I thought about a Far Side car­toon that I read where a sci­en­tist switch­es on his Dog Trans­la­tor to find out that dogs are say­ing “Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey! Hey!”.

A Dog Trans­la­tor does pose some inter­est­ing ques­tions though…

Do Ger­man Shep­herds talk about strong work ethics and lazy, arro­gant French Poo­dles?

Do Eng­lish Fox­hounds talk about Aus­tralian Cat­tle Dogs being dirty, uncul­tured bar­bar­ians?

Would an Irish Set­ter find a Welsh Terrier’s accent too thick to under­stand?

Will Dr Har­ry now be out of a job?

Will Inspec­tor Rex be an even more valu­able mem­ber of the police force?

Can we now live in hope that Eddie Mur­phy won’t be doing any more Dr Doolit­tle movies?

In the immor­tal words of Lassie… “My pads are killing me!”